- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

"'If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’.'"

- Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

'In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.'

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900-1944)

"'Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.'"

- Charles William Stubbs

"'To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.'"

—Napoleon (Hanlon’s Razor)

Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence.

—Lily Tomlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

—Ellen Parr

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

—Dame Edna Everage

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

—Bill Vaughan

We learn something every day, often it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

—Aristotle

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

—André Gide

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

—Cullen Hightower

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.

—Anon

If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.

—Scott Adams

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

—Oscar Levant

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

Robert Wilensky

We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

—Will Rogers

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Virgil Garnett Thomson

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.

—Marcel Proust

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.

John Ruskin

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.

—Lao-Tze

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

—Aristotle

We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

—A. A. Milne

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

Achievement

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

The richest man

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.

Famous Quotes

"You can do anything, but not everything."

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day: "The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights."

Love Quotes

Love Quotes: "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

Understanding.

"Understanding is a three-edged sword: Your side, their side, and the truth"